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27 • M • DC
timothyjosephryan [at] gmail.com
archivetwitter.com [slash] timryansays
Hello world,
I had planned on going to the Timberfakes show on 6/21 (this is rescheduled from 4/19) but can no longer go. They’re playing with Hard Knock Live at the Middle East Downstairs.
If anyone wants these tickets, answer this post with whatever the best way to get in touch with you is. If you promise you’ll have fun, I can priority mail them or something to be sure they get to you in time.
This “What If” lays out several benefits (and one somewhat important drawback) of extinguishing the sun.
The president’s coma had taken a turn for the worse: she was dead. The VP shot himself before they could do the oath. Whoever came next in line met the void, called the wars off and undid the draft. Those of us in the last week of boot woke at dawn, synchronized, to find the top brass had already split.
First thing we did was whoop it up. Then we showered and set out for the women’s barracks to get it on. The women had had the same idea. We collided over the mortar range, which was dry and pockmarked and not ideal for fucking, but in the party that ensued we all got laid except Taylor, who despite running fifteen miles a day could just not stop being fat.
Taylor’s fatness was a joke at first, when he couldn’t keep up, but soon the joke became myth. We punched him on the pretext that he couldn’t feel. A lady soldier half-wearing my camo rode me in the hot dead grass, and I saw Taylor taking shade under the only tree, massaging feet that must have hurt like hell under all that weight.
The party depressed me after two days. By then I honestly couldn’t believe I was me. I hiked to the airbase and hitched a plane to Jersey. Except it was resupply to Jersey the goddamn island. I got to London and fit a southy crew that mugged tourists in the Elephant & Castle pedways. Other gangs raped down there; we mugged. We’d rip cams and phones from helpless fingers to fence in Camden for hash. I beat up an Italian for his hat.
“Drone,” a new story in 3:AM Magazine. If this opening doesn’t hook you I should maybe resign from fiction.
Gettin’ ready for the Gala with my lady. @KKMays lookin good, I gotta say. (at Claridge House)
NEW THEME: SUMMER ROAD TRIPPIN’
If you could pick one place to road trip to this summer, where would it be? Visualize it, write it down in a dream journal, do whatever you need to do. For this round, we want you to imagine that you’re driving to that place, and you need to put together a killer playlist that will get through those long hours on the road. (Shoutout to mixer Christina for the awesome idea!).
Round starts next week, so don’t be lazy: Email us at wemixalot@gmail.com and tell us you’re in. Remember: you won’t be included unless you email us. Thems the rules. If you’re a newbie, make sure you include your name and Tumblr address. After a few days, we’ll send out your matchup emails, and another SIMYAM round will be on its way.
Speak soon!
Ms. A and Mr. J
One last reminder! With a theme like this, you can’t afford to miss this round.
Last chance to sign up! Get ta steppin.
I was considering skipping this round, but I really must join in.
You should too.
Well, I love that dirty water
Oh, Boston, you’re my home.
Attn: DC Tumblrs. The Massachusetts Society of DC is holding a fundraiser for The One Fund this Monday at Hamilton’s. $20 gets you all you can drink Sam’s Summer and Angry Orchard drafts and $10 dollars of that goes to the One Fund, a charity started by MA Governor Partick and Boston Mayor Menino for the victims’ families.
I have class but this sounds like a great event.
I just can’t even really figure out much right now. I’m in awe of those who can express their emotions, which are close to mine but not really close at all, at times like these.
